How she felt after Toronto.

(Hi, guys! How are you? Hope everything is fine wherever you are! So, do you guys remember I mentioned once I would have a friend of mine here to share her opinion about how she felt ‘after Toronto’? This is the day! Fasten your seat belt because my dearest friend Bianca is going to share some deep thoughts with us.)

Canada was my first international destiny, but in this text I won’t try to explore the trip itself, but after it.

On my way to Pearson Airport I felt like I had to say goodbye to someone that was everything I have ever wanted, took me so long to find and I finally could make a true bond with it. Toronto was that “person” to me, and right there, twelve weeks incredibly fast later, It has been taken off me with no reunion prospect.WhatsApp Image 2017-04-26 at 22.37.41

It was an overwhelming feeling, I saw a whole movie from my first moments in Canadian lands until my last subway ride, the first time I looked at my hostfamily’s house until the last one before the car turned left, the first time I saw my classmates and teacher until the last conversation with the ones who became my friends.

At the moment I arrived in my city, seemed like it lost all the colors, the heat and the fact that I missed every(Canada)thing so much suffocated me, the first week was not easy, every day I woke up feeling a pressure in my chest and a metallic taste in my mouth. Suddenly, my old life didn’t suit me anymore, I had grown some numbers, but was forced to wear the same old clothes.

Honestly, I thought it would never get better, I had to block memories many times because remembering was too dangerous. At some point, I believed that maybe it would be for the best if I have never gone abroad, but I concluded that it’d be only easier, but never better.

However, it gets better… If something have been proved repeatedly in my life is that you can have pleasure in life again even after a breakdown.

This text is being written exactly four months after my November 19th of 2016 and all that agony is gone, today I let myself remember with love of the moments I spent there, my life took a totally different path because of this trip and I am very grateful for that. I don’t know where I am going next, but even if I have to pass through this all over again I’m going to accept it and go on knowing that everything worth it.

(1. We would love to hear your versions of thoses things and how you feel in these situations. 2. I already updated the last post with some pics.)


4 thoughts on “How she felt after Toronto.”

  1. You both have done such a good job with capturing the sadness and sense of loss that comes with returning home. Even after a trip of 10 days I felt like I was discontent with the day to day mundane routines of life. I wanted to go on another adventure and it weighed me down. So I can imagine it must’ve been difficult for you, but you helped me to see how much more difficult it is. I’m sure you both will make it back out again. If you want it, with patience and planning, you can make it happen.


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